The Strangeness of Turning 40: Reflections on Milestones and Life Changes

As my 40th birthday approaches, I’ve found myself feeling a little…weird. It’s one of those milestones that seems to carry a weight, and not just because I’m officially entering the "over 40" club. There's a strange blend of excitement, nostalgia, and, honestly, a bit of anxiety that I didn’t fully expect. As a therapist, I spend a lot of time helping others navigate transitions and life changes, but this one feels personal. There’s something about turning 40 that hits differently, and I can’t quite pinpoint why it’s causing such a strange mix of emotions.

Maybe it’s because 40 feels like a marker—a moment when you’re supposed to have everything figured out. I know that’s not entirely true, but there’s still a nagging feeling that I should be further along in some areas of life, like career, relationships, or even personal growth. It’s funny how these societal expectations creep in, even when we know logically that everyone’s path is unique.

For me, turning 40 has brought a reflection on what I’ve accomplished so far and what I still want to achieve. There’s a part of me that feels like the clock is ticking, especially with the big dreams I have for my future—like transitioning to full-time private practice, completing my PsyD, and making a real impact on the mental health field. I’ve spent so much time thinking about what’s next that it’s easy to overlook how far I’ve come. But it’s that balance between looking back and looking forward that feels a little overwhelming right now.

Then, of course, there’s the physical aspect of turning 40. It’s not that I feel old, but there’s a certain shift that happens. I find myself thinking more about my health, my energy levels, and how I want to take care of myself in the years ahead. I’ve started paying more attention to my body—like taking regular hikes on nearby trails (one of the new hobbies I’ve really enjoyed since moving)—and I’m trying to make a conscious effort to eat healthier and maintain a good balance. But I’ll admit, there’s also this weird realization that I’m not in my 20s or even my 30s anymore. It’s a shift that feels both natural and jarring at the same time.

As I reflect on this milestone, I also notice a shift in how I view my relationships and the role they play in my life. Turning 40 feels like a reminder of the importance of connection—whether it's with my partner, my family, or my clients. I find myself appreciating the people in my life more than ever before. Time seems to move faster the older you get, and it’s easy to take relationships for granted. But as I approach this new chapter, I’m reminded of how important it is to nurture those connections, especially since they provide such a source of support and grounding.

And then there's the existential side of things—the realization that 40 isn’t just a number. It’s a reflection of where I am in my life and where I’m headed. I’m more conscious of my choices now, and I think I’m starting to embrace the idea that I don’t need to have everything figured out. The beauty of life, especially at this stage, is that it's okay to still be figuring things out, to make new decisions, and to adjust course as needed. There’s room for reinvention and growth at any age, and for me, that’s one of the most comforting thoughts as I navigate this milestone.

Turning 40 might be making me feel a little weird, but it’s also making me appreciate the journey I’ve had and the one that lies ahead. There’s no exact blueprint for life, and I’m learning to be okay with that. As a therapist, I help others come to terms with these types of transitions, and now I’m walking through it myself. Maybe 40 isn’t about having everything perfectly in place—it’s about embracing where you are and staying open to what comes next.

If you’re feeling uncertain or need support as you face your own milestones, I’d love to help. Book a consultation today, and let’s explore how we can work together to navigate your journey, whatever stage you’re in.

Here’s to embracing change and making space for the unknown.